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Then one night after making love she quietly said, "I think I am ready to do it."I was half asleep when I suddenly turned and said, "What did you just say? Ready for what?" I think I am ready to let go and experience my ultimate fantasy in life." I felt an instant arousal and I said to her, "Are you sure about this? What suddenly brought this on?" I had been thinking about it for a while now, and my desires have grown to a point that I can't take it any longer. I am also getting older and this might be my last shot of experiencing my fantasy," she replied back. I was truly excited and told her that in the morning that I would look for a suitable gentleman who could give her a fantasy of a lifetime. I began to articulated several ideas in my mind and I could hardly sleep that night.The next morning after about an hour or so of sleep I got up and grabbed the camera. I began to take a few shots of her while she lay there vulnerable on the bed with a small amount of clothing on."What are. I finally understand your reluctance to have anything to do with them.Please note that I’m not apologizing for pushing you to forgive them. I still think I was right about that part. But I’m sorry for thinking your feelings were unjustified.Leah cleared that up for me. That’s for sure.But just like you told me once, my feelings aren’t necessarily rational but it doesn’t change them.I feel betrayed by my sister. But I also feel betrayed by my parents for not stopping her. And sadly, my love, I feel betrayed by you too for not protecting me.But I know these thoughts aren’t rational so I’m going away for a while to fix things. I need to be able to close my eyes without seeing that day. I need to be able to see you without reliving the last time you held me in your arms.I want you to know that I’m not deserting you. I swear I’m not. I don’t know when but someday I’ll find you, if only to give you a better explanation. As soon as I can be the person that I need to be for me and the person.
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